


I Miss You

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossover, Drama, Established Relationship, Horror, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2018-09-03 04:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8697334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Things change when death happens. People do too.It was a sad day when Dean had passed, though, not all things always stay dead like they should, as we know((Sucky Summary, I know, Im not good at them.))http://www.flickr.com/photos/57087673@N04/8186472275/^ Banner





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes: Short, I know, but they will get longer  
do you guys like it?  


* * *

It had been a sad day, a horrible day for lack of better terms in Sam's mind. One moment he had everything going for him and not a thing could be found that was wrong. Maybe his life wasn’t perfect, but he had Dean then. Dean, the brave one, the one who helped Sam out of countless messes that came his way, 

 

It had started out as any other day would've, but right before the two had parted, there had been a fight. It was something stupid too, and Sam regretted it, he would regret it the rest of his life as well. Dean had gotten cold feet about their relationship and Sam felt hurt, so he shot out words he didn't mean before storming out. That was indeed his first mistake. The second was when the phone had ran and Dean's picture popped up. Sam had ignored the call, and all other attempts at contact Dean had made to try and fix things. He had pushed himself into work more than he had any other day. The third mistake was the lack of worry when Dean wasn't home when he got off work. Dean was /always/ home and waiting for Sam with the most cheery smile Sam had ever seen in his entire life. A lonely silence had held the Winchester still and he waited hour after hour while unknown to him, Dean was driving from the bar, wasted as wasted could be.

 

Sam's eyes nervously went to the clock; 11:02. "Where the hell are you, Dean?" he asked, his hope fading. What if he had left? Moved and moved on from Sam, onto someone better, someone more deserving? His heart panged at the thought of it and nothing would calm his nerves other then when he saw Dean walk on through their door. But he wouldn't

 

It would be close to 12 when Sam gets the call, close to 12:03 when in finally sank in and he was on his knees begging for there to be a mistake. The lady had called him Sammy, that’s what Dean had his name as on his phone despite Sam's whining, and that just hurt worse as he was forced to correct her, unable to allow anyone other than Dean call him that. 

 

His throat closed off with each step he took towards the forlorn room; 213.

 

Dean's eyes were closed and he looked peaceful then, Sam had to do almost everything to keep his eyes dry. Every scar and bruise attacked Sam with a hard force and it nearly knocked him to his knees.

 

Then the beeping, that god forsaken beeping went off and a shrill sound assultted his ears.

 

At this point he was screaming, sobbing, and begging again as two nurse pushed him out. He watched Dean's body convulse over and over, everything hurting for Sam now. The door shut in his face for a few minutes and then everything was so silent. Deathly silent and Sam just couldn't handle it, not now or ever. 

 

A minute passed and the door opened, a sympathetic doctor watched the young man with his knees tucked under his chin. "I'm so sorry Mr. Winchester. We lost him."

 

But Sam wasn't listening to him; he was listening to the nurses calling out the time of death. "1:32 AM" she said solemnly and Sam's eyes grew hard. 

 

He jerked up and gripped the doctor's neck, slamming him into the wall. Angry tears spilled and Sam's gaze was more than threatening. There was a total terror filling Sam as he pressed on. He held himself back from causing any harm to the doctor because deep down he knew it wasn’t his fault. 

 

‘Dean…I miss you, Dean…I’m sorry’ was the first thing that ran straight through Sam’s mind as he sparred one final glance at the limp corpse of the man he had once known as his lover, partner, best friend. Nothing would ever change the way he felt about that man, no one would ever be able to replace him. Sam was convinced as he released the clutch he had on the doctor’s neck

 

“I’m sorry” was all he could choke out before he walked away from the seen. He felt stupid, so incredibly stupid, and nothing could bring Dean back. Nothing that Sam knew of anyway. Not that he was aware of the unnatural things out there. The things lurking in the deepest depths of the shadows, the things just waiting to cause trouble to those like Sam. Demons and monsters of the night, all waiting for a moment like this.

 

~^*^~

 

The funeral was brief, not much to say and not many people to say much too. There was Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Sam of course, but that was it. Sam and Dean never made any close friends, not ones close enough that they’d mourn the end of a life. 

 

Sam was sullen, his eyes seemingly shrinking into his face and bags cluttering under his blank hazel eyes, and they almost looked black this way. His tux was a disheveled mess and as was he, but who wouldn’t be in such a time as it was? Jo looked incredibly pale in all black, as did her mother and it pained Sam to see the three of them. Jo looked almost like a younger girl version of Dean to Sam and it crushed the young man.

 

There was no after party, no point, celebrating something Sam couldn’t even stand to think about. Every morning he woke up, he expected to find Dean by his side, he expected this to have all been the worst nightmare he had come across…but his luck was null, nothing was given.

 

Dean was dead, and frankly? So was Sam.


	2. God Damn Those Demons

  
Author's notes: those who dont know what My Bloody Valentine is might not get it but Jensen Ackles played this Tom Hanniger character, so it is not mine, and yeah, enjoy~  


* * *

One day had passed since the funeral…and soon enough that day had turned into a month and Sam had lost track. Lawrence wasn’t nearly the same as Sam had once seen it, things were far duller then it had ever been. The colors were muted and all laughter fell flat in the Winchester’s ears. It took more than the normal effort to function each day and it seemed almost cruel that Sam had to live with such guilt of knowing that Dean was dead and it was his entire fault. 

 

At some point Sam couldn’t take it anymore, his hazel eyes stared blankly up at the dingy yellow ceiling and he couldn’t get the energy to move that morning. What most people don’t understand is when you lose someone, everything changes and it almost seems like it’s not worth it, moving through every day, living while the counterpart is 6 feet under. And life just doesn’t seem all that fair once you get into it. 

 

‘Dean would want me happy’ was Sam’s first thought and his second was ‘but I can’t when I’m here, everything reminds me of him, every little thing, I just can’t do it. I miss you Dean, I miss you so much, every day, it hurts without you and sometimes I start thinking I just won’t be able to make it and I feel so bad, if I could’ve done something different, I would’ve. I miss you.’ And then finally; ‘I gotta leave, I can’t stay here, I can’t do this.’ So he started the progresses of moving that morning, setting everything in motion. He set his find for a place that was absolutely nothing like Lawrence, not in the least, finding a small house in Harmony, Pennsylvania. It wasn’t much but it was enough. 

 

~^*^~

 

Demons are cruel creatures; they seek pleasure in others misfortunes and they happened to stumble upon Sam Winchester’s problem they took full advantage of the entire thing. Many knew Sam from his father; John Winchester. Wasn’t it just unfortunate that Sam hadn’t known what his father had been doing each time he stuck him over With Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Dean? Wasn’t it worse that they all knew and still kept it from him? Worse yet when they had to lie to him when John never came back from a hunt?

 

Well yes, they play a part in this. 

 

~^*^~

 

Tom Hanniger stood, his feet firmly planted on the dewy green grass. Below him sat his home town of Harmony, one of the places he swore he’d never come back to after he got ‘better’. But something compelled him to come here, something more than just the fact that he wanted and needed to sell Hanniger Mines. His emerald eyes were pointedly staring upon the ‘Welcome to Harmony!’ sign and nothing but hate registered for his in that moment. “After everything, I can’t believe that I’m back here” he muttered, slowly allowing himself to move to his truck once more. This would be interesting, he had no doubt.

 

Many people blamed Tom for the murders that had happened ten years previous, they thought it had all been bad luck that he had brought down upon the little town, and how right they were.

~^*^~

Sam hadn’t expected it, but who would? 

 

He had just gotten packed up and the boxes into the moving van. His eyes regrettably lay upon the house before him one last time before he got in. Maybe the house would sell and a nice, family would get it, a happy family. A mother, a father, a daughter, and a son. Maybe even a dog or two. Happy, content, and all together with nothing to be put into their way. That wouldn’t be too bad, Sam would sell it to them in an instant, just because he couldn’t be happy didn’t mean that other people couldn’t be. 

 

The young Winchester set it into gear and drove off, leaving Lawrence Kansas in his rearview mirror, and every bad memory that had ever gotten in his way with it. 

 

At least, that’s what he thought. 

 

~^*^~

 

The two arrived at Harmony at virtually the same time, got unpacked and settled. Tom in a motel on the other side of town and Sam in his house he had just bought. Moving was going to be tough, and Sam knew it, but he hardly knew what was in for him in this small town. 

 

‘I miss you, Dean’ Sam thought once again, touching the picture of them from high school with a gentle caress. Sam never got the chance to memorize every freckle on his face, or kiss him one thousand times just because he could, he didn’t get the chance to pop any question or answer one either. A million things he wished could happen, knowing, thinking, they never would.

 

Sitting in his barren house alone didn’t help him, so then was when he decided to go off to the local bar. Being around people would distract him, if only for a little while. 

 

He only had to walk, that was the simple thing about small towns.

 

But the dangers were being known of before you even got the chance to introduce yourself. And as many people know, small town people aren’t that open minded when it comes things like sexuality, which was one thing Sam had over looked when he decided on Harmony, one thing he may soon regret. 

 

The bar had been relatively empty, a few people here and there, but the solid point was that Sam wasn’t alone with his thoughts. He sat at a table, shining with a newly cleaned glow, and set his laptop down. Sam enjoyed writing, but that wasn’t very apparent to some people back in Lawrence. 

 

Eyes were instantly on Sam and murmurs stirred within the small crowd of people. They glanced or stared, but Sam wasn’t going to be bothered to notice them or their petty gossip.

 

Then came Tom and all eyes turned, including Sam’s. Oh, what a shock he was in for.

 

~^*^~

Tom had only been in town a mere hour and people already knew he was there, from his ex, Sarah to the ass of a police man she was now married to. Everyone was one edge at knowing he was back, after not knowing where he had disappeared to for 10 years, the towns folk were suspicious. 

 

With his best efforts, Tom ignored them, and it was almost easy, almost. 

 

Despite everything happening and everything Tom knew was right and wrong, some feeling was leading him towards the local bar that day. Why? Well, he wasn’t completely sure about that one. Not at all. 

 

Eyes were instantly drawn to him as he walked along the path to the bar. Some were spiteful, while others had fear ebbing silently in. Not many people favored Tom, or even liked him for that matter. Even the people who were new to the town from the past 10 years had heard stories of him.

 

So they were all conflicted, whether they should be paying attention to Tom or the new man in town, Sam Winchester, god, the choices. 

 

But wasn’t Tom in for a shock when he entered the bar and knew Sam’s face instantly. Feelings stirred and memories took hold of his mind. Sam Winchester and his hazel eyed glory stared right back at Tom, his expression one of an injured puppy. 

 

Tom knew him, but he didn’t, oh the things that were happening just weren’t right. Those damn demons.


End file.
